I was very wrong when I thought that I will be in a perfect and happy marriage after I married the perfect man for me . My husband and I will celebrate our 12th Wedding Anniversary this year. We’ve been through a lot already as a couple. Honestly, this past eleven years of our marriage was more of a bumpy ride than a happily ever after story. Often times to stay in love and happy has really been a struggle for us especially after each argument. Believe me, we argue for countless of times a day until we renewed our vow early this year! I spent so many times trying to change his mind and attitude towards things that I thought I was right about. There was also a time that I thought I had enough and I don’t want to be his wife anymore.
But after all this time, what we realized was, both of us are two imperfect people who need our perfect God to help us fill our needs in our marriage and make it work. I also acknowledged that whenever I am struggling in our marriage, I should not try to change the heart or attitude of my spouse because I can’t. Only God can change the heart of my husband. Instead, I can lift my spouse in prayer to God or else I will just end up frustrated and hurting. I learned this the hard way. “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.” – Ezekiel 36:26-27 –
God has specific roles for husband and wife in a marriage. He loves us equally but He created us with a different sets of needs. “ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” –Ephesians 5:33
The number one need of a wife is love and the number one need of a husband is respect.
God designed our marriage to meet these needs and when we stick to and do our roles, we will stay happy in our marriage.
5 Ways a Wife Can Show Respect to Her Husband
- Respect his leadership and his decisions for the family
Sometimes, our opinions are not in agreement with each other. But After more than 11 years of marriage, I learned to pray to God for Him to help me trust my husband with his decisions. I also pray to God for Him to give my husband wisdom in everything that he does. I also pray for my heart and mind, so I can submit to my husband as God wants me to.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” –Ephesians 5:22-23
- Respect and appreciate his work
I am my husband’s #1 cheerleader and I see to it that in everything he does, I always boost his morale. My husband feels happy every time I appreciate the hard work he had done and is doing for our family. No matter how much he brings to the table, he should feel encouraged, appreciated and loved always. In this way, he can be more productive in everything he does.
“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them .”-Proverbs 3:27
3. Do not talk poorly against your husband
My husband and I were classmates and co-workers as well so it is normal for us to critique each other openly in the public.
And sometimes, because of some disagreements and different opinions, it is difficult to not talk against him especially when we are around our closest friends, family and colleagues.
But since “to be intentional” is my goal this year, I am doing my best to intentionally praise my husband’s goodness in public and caution him with his shortcomings in private. I know that nagging will only bring discouragement and frustration to both of us. It will do more harm than progress in our marriage.
” Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” – Ephesians 4:15
A husband is wired by God to have intimacy with his wife sexually, physically and emotionally. For my husband’s joy and satisfaction, I am doing my best to make myself not only beautiful in the inside but also in the outside. He is more happy and inspired when I dress up and look pretty.
“You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil.Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed.Your smile is flawless,each tooth matched with its twin.Your lips are like scarlet ribbon;your mouth is inviting.Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil.”- Solomon 4:1-3
5. Pray for your husband
Like me, my husband is also not perfect. He made bad choices, decisions and he is also a work in progress, still growing and getting better by the grace of God each day. As my husband’s support , I always pray for him instead of always complaining about him not doing the things that I expect him to do.
I pray for my husband to prosper in all areas of his life such us work, finances,his role as my husband, and as a father to our children, his spiritual relationship with God, etc.
I believe that if you cannot change his heart, trust that God can.
” Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
8 Ways A Husband Can Show His Love to His Wife
- Sacrifice things for your wife
This means that as a husband you should be willing to give up or sacrifice things for the welfare and happiness of your wife. Be willing to even risk your life for the wife that you love. This also means that your wife’s needs will come first before your own.
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” – Ephesians 5:25
Just like your own body, you should take good care of your wife. With God’s help, you should provide for the needs of your wife physically, spiritually, financially, emotionally and sexually because that is your role and you are doing it to show that you love her.
“In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.” – Ephesians 5:28-31
3. Be considerate with your wife and respect her
Always understand that your wife is often times physically weaker, so help her in anyway you can . If she is slow to get dressed, wait patiently for her and do not irritate her with impatience. Help her with your kids so she can rest a little and make time for herself. If things are quite heavy for her, offer your shoulders. Treat her nicely so your prayers will get answered.
“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:7
4. Don’t be harsh with her
Be gentle to her. Avoid words that can hurt your wife’s feelings. Don’t treat your wife like a man because she is not a man. Let her dressed modestly and enjoy life being a lady. Be patient with her and avoid talking to her with an irritated tone of voice.
” Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”– Colossians 3:19
5. Enjoy your wife
Enjoy the company of your wife. She is not only your wife, she is also your best friend. Talk and be excited for the things that God will do for both of you today and in the future. Crack jokes ,be silly and laugh out loud with each other. Please your wife physically and let her body satisfy you. Show her that you are captivated by her and she will feel more secured.
“Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. ” – Proverbs 5:18-19
6. Praise her and make her happy
Thank your wife and praise her for all the small and big things that she is doing for you and your family. Make her happy by telling her how special she is to you and that you are blessed because she is your wife. Your praises are the words she is longing for every day. Always remember, ” Happy wife, happy life.”
‘Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”’ – Proverbs 31:28-29
“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22
7. Be faithful to your wife
Remain faithful to your wife. Your wife and children are the best gifts that God gave you so don’t throw your happy family away by being unfaithful. It’s not worth it! Remove lust from your heart and enjoy life with your wife.
“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” – Hebrews 13:4
8. Live with your wife and be united
To have a happy married life and to avoid in-laws conflict, it is important that you get yourself and your wife your own home after the wedding. Give her your full attention, spend more time with each other and talk often. As couples, you have to decide on the things you agree and on the things you agree to disagree. Be united and live as one with your wife.
And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ – Matthew 19:5
These things are not as easy as counting 1-2-3 but if we involve God in our marriage and ask Him to help us with our roles as husband and wife every day of our lives, He will be faithful to help us love and respect our spouse.
How about you? Are you happy in your marriage today? Is there anything that I can pray for you, your spouse or your marriage? Post a comment or send me a message below. I would love to pray for you.
Thank you for visiting my home in the web. As a thank you, I made beautiful printables for you and your spouse to remind you daily to love and respect each other so both of you can enjoy a happier marriage. You can download our FREE Printable Cheat Sheet for a Happier Marriage below and stick them where you can easily see them everyday.
Have a nice day and God bless!